Better to Worse to BETTER Revelation

Matthew 12:43-45 NLT

“When an evil spirit leaves a person, it goes into the desert, seeking rest but finding none.  Then it says, ‘I will return to the person I came from.’ So it returns and finds its former home empty, swept, and in order.  Then the spirit finds seven other spirits more evil than itself, and they all enter the person and live there. And so that person is worse off than before. That will be the experience of this evil generation.”

I often hear from others that when they give their lives, hearts, and struggles to God - finally laying it down - that things get better but only for a little while and after that short while, things seem to get worse; worse than even what they were before. This scripture makes it even more clear for me for why that happens. There is a continuous attack on our identity, purpose, and will. It swings hard over and over, getting stronger and more forceful, more vengeful, with each swing, hoping to ultimately conquer its victim. I believe the moral of this scripture is to NOT GIVE UP, KEEP SWINGING BACK, AND STAND FIRM IN YOUR FAITH AND KNOWLEDGE OF WHO YOUR GOD IS! We will win because God has already won!

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Mark 4:3-9, 14-20 NLT

“Listen! A farmer went out to plant some seed.  As he scattered it across his field, some of the seed fell on a footpath, and the birds came and ate it.  Other seed fell on shallow soil with underlying rock. The seed sprouted quickly because the soil was shallow.  But the plant soon wilted under the hot sun, and since it didn’t have deep roots, it died.  Other seed fell among thorns that grew up and choked out the tender plants so they produced no grain.  Still other seeds fell on fertile soil, and they sprouted, grew, and produced a crop that was thirty, sixty, and even a hundred times as much as had been planted!”  Then he said, “Anyone with ears to hear should listen and understand.” The farmer plants seed by taking God’s word to others.  The seed that fell on the footpath represents those who hear the message, only to have Satan come at once and take it away.  The seed on the rocky soil represents those who hear the message and immediately receive it with joy.  But since they don’t have deep roots, they don’t last long. They fall away as soon as they have problems or are persecuted for believing God’s word.  The seed that fell among the thorns represents others who hear God’s word,  but all too quickly the message is crowded out by the worries of this life, the lure of wealth, and the desire for other things, so no fruit is produced.  And the seed that fell on good soil represents those who hear and accept God’s word and produce a harvest of thirty, sixty, or even a hundred times as much as had been planted!”

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 2

Day 2: I am thankful for life and every single new breath I'm given. I was found 8 years ago laying on the pavement of Hwy 5 not breathing. I had died. Who called 911 & what pushed the paramedics, who tried multiple times to revive me, to try that last time? Who protected the helicopter care-flighting us? Who guided the hands of the doctors & nurses through every surgery & scare? Who am I to have been saved and given a second chance? Who am I Lord? You could have said, "No" and let me go, abandoning me as I had You but You said, "YES! I will save her & she will come back to me & I will use her for My glory. I will show her how much she is worth." 

I spent my adolescence longing and searching for acceptance, belonging, and for my peers to tell me I have value; that I am of worth. I spent all this time desperately searching for these needs in people and in the world, never truly finding them. All I found was false acceptance, false belonging, and conditional love from peers. When my wreck happened, I lost nearly everything and hit absolute rock bottom. I could hardly move or feel, became dependent on others, and was just in a tough place emotionally, socially, and physically. I literally had no where to look but up. Once I did though, once I finally did, once I finally released all my burdens and grips that I had held onto so tightly for so many years, God showed me that He was all I need and that He is all I've ever needed. He revealed to me the Truth, my value, my importance in this world, and who He created me to be. All that time I had been trying to fill my God-shaped hole with things that would never fit because it was Him all along and only Him that I needed. Not allowing Him in created my void. I just am so thankful for God and for life. He loved me so much that He breathed life back into me. Me! Oh my God, thank you for life!

30 Days of Thanksgiving: Day 1

I've decided to jump on the 30 days of Thanksgiving! 

Day 1: I am thankful for my Father, Christ, & Holy Spirit. When I rededicated my life (a couple years after my accident), I finally reached that point where I was ready to give up my self and live for God. I asked God to reveal Himself to me, my purpose, and how much He loves me. The experiences I've had; the revelations, prophetic words, and spiritual gifts I've received, and all the prayers that are beyond coincidence that I have seen answered ... I could never deny Him or live without him. And although this life with paralysis is difficult, I would never go back. I didn't know who I was, I didn't grasp the love of my God or family, I took EVERYTHING for granted, and I lived for MYSELF, never satisfied. I was broken, shamed, abused, and discarded by the world. God has shown me who I am and who I'm not, what's important and what isn't, and most importantly, who HE IS. Oh His love and presence... they absolutely captivate me. You have my heart God. Truly. I love you.